Rebuilding the Broken Pieces: Grace in the Ruins

Little Kassie didn’t understand her worth. She didn’t know that her value was never tied to what she could give or how much others approved of her. Instead, she grew up believing lies shaped by pain, rejection, and the world around her. Those lies didn’t just stay in her childhood—they grew roots that followed her into adulthood, into her relationships, and into her identity.

As an adult, I believed the only way to keep a man, find love, or feel worthy was to use my body. I didn’t understand body autonomy because my experiences told me it wasn’t mine to own. Losing men, being violated by some, and absorbing messages from a world that glorifies self-sufficiency and physical appeal left me convinced that manipulation and physical intimacy were the way to security.

When I met my son’s father, I carried all of these lies into our relationship. While there was care and love, it wasn’t the kind of love rooted in God’s truth. Instead, our relationship was built on a foundation of insecurity, sex, and my desperate attempt to create stability through my own broken understanding of what it meant to be loved.

The Lies That Grew in My Garden

Dr. Anita Phillips writes in “The Garden Within”:

“Our hearts are gardens, and our experiences are seeds. Some seeds grow flowers, while others grow weeds. The choice to cultivate is ours.”

The lies I believed were like weeds in the garden of my heart. They choked out truth and beauty, leaving me with an identity rooted in pain instead of purpose:

• “You have to use your body to keep a man.”

• “Sex is the only way to prove your worth.”

• “If you’re desirable, you’re valuable.”

For so long, I let those weeds grow unchecked, unaware that I had the power to cultivate something different. I thought I was protecting myself by being what I thought men wanted, but really, I was handing over parts of myself I didn’t even know I had a right to protect.

The Breaking Point

When my son was a year old, I began to feel a stirring in my heart. God was calling me back to Him, though I didn’t fully understand it yet. I started seeking Him again, opening my Bible and praying. But I was still holding onto my plans—still trying to make things work in my own strength.

It wasn’t until my son was 3.5 years old, when his father and I separated, that I truly began to understand what surrender meant. That season was the hardest of my life. I looked at myself and felt like a failure:

• I’m a single mother, just like my mom.

• I’m repeating the same mistakes.

• I’ve failed my son.

The shame and fear were overwhelming. But what I didn’t realize was that God wasn’t condemning me—He was preparing me.

Dr. Anita Phillips says, “God is the ultimate gardener. He prunes, He waters, and He nurtures—if we let Him.”

In that season, I had to make a choice: would I keep trying to fix my broken garden on my own, or would I let God step in and tend to the places I couldn’t reach?

God’s Grace in the Ruins

When my relationship ended, I had no choice but to confront the lies I had built my identity around. I felt exposed, broken, and alone. But God met me in that brokenness and began to show me a different way.

Through Scripture, He spoke truth into my life:

“You are fearfully and wonderfully made.” – Psalm 139:14

“There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” – Romans 8:1

“I will restore to you the years that the locust has eaten.” – Joel 2:25

God didn’t just want to heal me—He wanted to rebuild me. He became my Savior, rescuing me from the lies that had trapped me for so long. He became my Husband, filling the gaps where earthly love had failed. He became my Father, not just to me but to my son, showing me what true love and security look like.

Dr. Anita Phillips reminds us, “Healing begins when we stop hiding from the gardener and let Him see the weeds.” That’s exactly what I had to do—stop hiding my pain and let God see the brokenness I had tried to cover up for so long.

Lessons Grace Taught Me

1. Your Past Does Not Define You

For so long, I believed my mistakes and experiences defined my future. But God showed me that His grace is bigger than my past.

2. Your Body Is Sacred

I began to see myself as a temple of the Holy Spirit, created with purpose and worthy of respect. My worth is not tied to my body—it’s rooted in Christ.

3. Surrender Brings Peace

Letting go of my plans was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but it was also the most freeing. When I surrendered my pain, my shame, and my fears to God, He gave me peace I didn’t think was possible.

1. What lies have you believed about yourself or your worth?

2. How might God be calling you to surrender those lies to Him?

3. Where in your life do you see evidence of His grace, even in the ruins?

Rebuilding the broken pieces of our lives isn’t easy, but it’s possible through grace. Grace that meets us in our darkest moments. Grace that reminds us we are loved and worthy. Grace that rebuilds what we thought was lost forever.

If you’re ready to take the next step, I encourage you to read more about my testimony here. If you want to explore the ideas of healing and surrender further, I highly recommend Dr. Anita Phillips’ “The Garden Within.”

📖 Find the book here: The Garden Within

Scripture to Carry With You:

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18

Prayer:

Lord, thank You for loving me even when I didn’t know how to love myself. Help me to surrender my plans to You and trust that Your ways are better than mine. Teach me to see myself through Your eyes and to trust You with the broken pieces of my life. Amen.

My journey of rebuilding is far from over—God is still pruning, shaping, and nurturing me into the woman He’s called me to be. In my next post, I’ll dive deeper into a pivotal experience where His grace met me in the middle of my mess, showing me that even unfinished, I am still in His hands.

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Rebuilding the Broken Pieces: Believing in the Light